Frank Kaminsky Is The New Kid On The ESPN Mock NBA Lottery Block

“By now all of Madison has heard of Sam Dekker‘s departure from the NCAA to the NBA draft pool. He’ll join Frank Kaminsky as a likely first-found draft pick, but unlike his senior teammate, Dekker is an NBA lottery pick,” said Jon Rzepecki two weeks ago.

Boy was that guy wrong.

A few days after Dekker declared for the NBA Draft I wrote a piece on where ESPN’s Chad Ford thought he might end up after playing the NBA Lottery simulator about 30 times.

I also wrote a few sentences on how the lottery is for younger, more raw talent, and that established teams usually get the seniors while struggling teams get freshman that still need some experience.

Also wrong, apparently.

I can only think of two things that happened since the simulator still had Dekker as an option. No. 1, Kaminsky won every award and 2, Caris LeVert decided to return to Michigan.

So Dekker and LeVert exited the lottery pool and Kaminsky and Georgia State phenom R.J. Hunter joined the fun.

That clearly means things would be different, right? New blood in the water will get the sharks of the NBA chomping at the bit to pick up Kaminsky in the top 10 or top five, right?

The NBA Lottery is Tuesday, May 19 and the Draft is Thursday, June 25. Let’s take another look at where ESPN sees our beloved (other) Badger end up when we run its simulator 5, 10 and 25 times. And five more times because I can and did it last time.

NBA Lottery Sim x5

Karl-Anthony Towns is once again the imminent No. 1 overall pick. Jahlil Okafor, Emmanuel Mudiay and Justise Winslow are  usually somewhere in the top five. The last simulation put Dekker to the Phoenix Suns at No. 13.

So Kaminsky, reigning Player and Trophy-Getter of the Year should be safe from the Suns … right?

WRONG, YOU FOOLS.

At least in the last sim in the first five Dekker was taken by the Utah Jazz. It was all Suns, all at No. 13 this time around.

NBA Lottery Sim x10

Big Frank is going to play near the Big Toaster. All 10 point to Phoenix.

NBA Lottery Sim x25

Shut up. Go away.

NBA Lottery Sim +5 More

How is this even possible? At least the Dekker sim gave us some mixed results. A Jazz pick here, a Suns pick at 12 or 14 there, but not this time. I think I’ve written “13 Suns” so many time I accidentally willed 12 more stars into our solar system. Sorry for that, America, but eat that Alpha Centauri and your three-star system. Guess what aliens*, you’ll just have to deal with that.

*Now that I’ve earned the wrath of aliens orbiting the Alpha Centauri star system, we’ll know where they take Kaminksy and/or Dekker and three others when Danny DeVito steals their powers for Space Jam 2.

I feel like I got sidetracked.

Where was I?

Oh, that’s right. just like Dekker inevitably going to the Suns at 13 a mere two weeks ago, there is no doubt Kaminsky will be taking his place.

I also mentioned last time where CBS Sports had Kaminsky going in Dekker’s place. Those are more or less the same.

Garry Parrish has Kaminsky at No. 9 to the Charlotte Bobcats (sigh) and Dekker to Toronto at 20. Zach Harper has Frank at No. 10 to the Pacers and Dekker to the Houston Rockets at 18.

By now you may be asking me ‘Hey, Jon, what happens if Ford puts Dekker and Kaminsky in the lottery pool?’ and the simple answer is the universe implodes because the 12 extra stars explode, causing a chain reaction (also starring Keanu Reaves) that engulfs all other star systems and nobody can see the next NBA season because two suns can’t exist in the same spot (probably).

And if anyone is mad at me for this tirade, please direct that anger toward @chadfordinsider using the hashtag #whydidyoudestroytheuniverse.

Next: Former Badger Basketballers Up For $1 Million Challenge