The only way the Wisconsin Badgers get out of Big Ten rock bottom is to go bottoms up

Wisconsin may have one of the worst football teams known to mankind, but its rabid fanbase sure knows how to party. Beer is synonymous with the state. Its MLB franchise is called the Milwaukee Brewers for crying out loud! So what does drinking beer have to do with turning Wisconsin around? Potentially, absolutely everything. There is money to be had here, maybe toward something useful?

Through their first five home games (Miami (OH), Middle Tennessee, Maryland, Iowa, and Ohio State), Wisconsin fans have drowned their sorrows while watching the ideas of Billy Edwards Jr., Danny O'Neil and Hunter Simmons play quarterback for this team Luke Fickell allegedly coaches. It may not work out like this, but what if Wisconsin used its alcohol says to buy a great quarterback in the portal?

Alcohol sales might be down some 19 percent, but Wisconsin fans may be doing their part to fix this.

Still drinking like fishes, Wisconsin is the only FBS program with more than $3 million in alcohol sales revenue. So far this season, the University of Wisconsin, Madison has sold 255,122 units of alcohol to make $3,008,690 in revenue. This team stinks to high heaven, but they have two more home games left to be played vs. the Washington Huskies on Saturday and vs. the Illinois Fighting Illini on Nov. 22.

Rather than actively watch the Badgers lose some more, make it a drinking game to get to $4 million!

Wisconsin Badgers fans may be drinking to get a new transfer portal QB

Truth be told, it does not matter what Wisconsin supposedly gave guys like Edwards, O'Neil or Simmons to transfer over from Maryland, San Diego State and Southern Illinois, respectively. They all kind of stink. So rather than splitting the bill with sub-.500 FBS quarterbacks or ones who make only five starts at the FCS level, go get yourself your next Russell Wilson for a cool $4 million next season.

Yes, Wisconsin will have to pay a premium to get someone to come here, but college football is chock full of impressionable semi-professionals, better known as student-athletes. Carson Beck may want that money more than anything in the world now, but someone will be about that bag who is halfway decent. What is important to know is can Wisconsin get to $4 million in annual football alcohol sales?

To get to the $4 million football alcohol sales threshold, Wisconsin needs to sell $991,310 worth of booze over the next two home games. We are talking about an average of $495,655 a pop! The crazy part in all this is despite a 19.2-percent drop in alcohol revenue sales at Camp Randall, Wisconsin should clear that $4 million threshold easily. Wisconsin has averaged $601,738 in sales in five games.

After doing the math, how good of a transfer portal quarterback can Wisconsin get for $4,212,166?